The first time.... think over your life as you hum the famous journey song. How many "firsts" can you think of? I was driving down to Macon the other day thinking of noteworthy "firsts". Some are just silly and some you will never forget. Like the first time I kissed a boy.. that one is still debatable since I kept a diary in kindergarden of all the boys that I liked and kissed. Yeah. I guess I got around in K5! The first time I got in a wreck when I was 18 and i called my dad sobbing. The first time I went on a " real date" when I was 16 and the boy had to come inside for a little "interview". Mom usually ended up doing more of the talking back then. Yes, I know that is hard to believe. The first time my Chaser told me he loved me. We were in my parents playroom and he said " So last night I told God that I loved you". :)
The first time at the woman doctor... never pleasant but you are so nervous not knowing what to expect when showing your lady parts for the first time. Speaking of showing parts.. first time.. ( and LAST) I saw a grown man naked in his own house by mistake... definitely the most embarrassing moment of my life!
******Skip over the next part if the word sex grosses you out ;)
The first time I had sex on my wedding night ( all you unmarried folks PLEASE please wait) First time isnt like the movies. But its worth the wait! An for all my married peeps.. it just keeps getting better each year!!! :) Wooooooo!
But seriously, our firsts shape and mold us. They help define us. These experiences both pleasant and unpleasant help us become who we are today.
My favorite firsts of 2014 have got to be the first time I heard our now birth mothers voice. I didn't know then she would indeed pick us to raise and be parents to her unborn twins, but I knew we needed to meet her to encourage her. Second, it was seeing our babies for the first time right from the csection room.. but more powerful than that.. bringing them home and rocking both of them in my green chair in the nursery... a chair that sat so empty for so long. A chair that I would frequently sit in and pray in. Prayers for our future children. Tears of joy and an armful of beautiful babies that first night i rocked them both in the green chair. That was when it became real that I was entrusted to become their mother. Wow.
I could talk about the first time I heard the words utter.. your dad is dead. Def a powerful first that still leaves me breathless and a moment I can replay all the details in my mind. I can't imagine my moms mind which is still filled with the details of his actual death since she was there.. A blessing to be there to see him take his last breath but I can't imagine having those details fill your mind. As well as the four other people there.
But I want to talk really today about the first holidays.. First christmas, birthday, anniversary.. First year without that loved one. I am dedicating this blog today to those who are spending their first Holidays without that loved one. A couple of you are spending it without your
Unborn baby inside you, one in particular is spending the holidays without the child who passed away just after birth. Another will not get to pass out a gift and spend christmas with a sweet grand teenager. Love you all and want to say the first year of firsts are so hard! You are reminded of their loss everyday but on anniversaries and holidays, it's like the loss is magnified. You want them to be here to experience with you! But I pray we all can be reminded of Gods love through the great pain. It's through Him that we can battle such thoughts of sadness and pain. For he says...
"This is what the LORD says-- Israel's King and Redeemer, the LORD Almighty: I am the first and I am the last; apart from me there is no God.
Isaiah 44:6
For all our firsts in life.. He is greater. Thank you Jesus!
Happy holidays and may You be reminded today that God is the beginning and the end. He sees our big picture and wants to continue molding you into the person he created you to be.. Through all our firsts in our lives!
Love to all!
Taylor